Bite Me

So You Just Can't Cook At All

 

I realize that some people reading this might not really know how to cook. At all. In any case, here's a quick and dirty of basic cooking things you need to know:

 

Jargon:

• tsp -- teaspoon

• tbs -- tablespoon

• c -- cup

• FFTFW -- Feel Free To Futz With This, or, You May Improvise

 

Do:

• Always measure things like flour, baking soda/powder exactly. If you screw these things up, whatever you are cooking or baking will suck. Always.

• Follow directions like 'sift' or 'spooned and leveled' for things like flour. If you don't, the texture of whatever you're cooking won't be right.

• Make sure the butter or eggs you use are exactly the temperature called for in the recipe. It's important.

 

Don't:

• Overmix things with flour in them. Whatever it is will end up tough and only your best friends will eat it and you will be embarrassed.

• Open the oven door a hundred times to check on whatever is in there. Oven lights are there for a reason. You will change the internal temperature of the oven and potentially screw up what you're cooking.

• Be afraid to improvise a little bit. Once you've been cooking for awhile and you know what flavors go well together, throw in a dash of chili flakes or a squeeze of citrus. You might be pleasantly surprised.