Bite Me

If you don't get this joke, you need to spend more time in weird antique stores or dive bars. One of my favorite memories from when TMo...

The months of February through May are an intensely irritating time for Chicagoans. The weather is typically, in a word, shit, but every...

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN. Also known as my second-favorite day of the year (tied with my birthday -- the Fourth of July is untouchable in...

Even though it was randomly 80 degrees in Chicago today (which is pretty classic crazy Chicago weather, truthfully) I'm ready to be on my...

If you know me at all, you know my feelings on souped-up vehicles which is to say: I view them with crushing scorn accompanied by an...

Not all food is pretty. More specifically, not all GOOD food is pretty. Examples like three-bean chili, almost any form of stew and...

This is a really bad pun, I know. It's what I call a "Dad pun" -- corny enough your dad could have made it (mine especially...love you...

Hello all you miserable people. Are you clutching your stomachs in pain? Breaking wind like New York cabdrivers: shamelessly and with...

My boyfriend Tommy was in College Park this weekend for the first time since our sophomore year of college. This unhappy statistic is due...

Sunday is unquestionably the second-worst day of the week. First prize obviously goes to that bastard Monday but Sunday might actually be...