I Hate Hibachi Grills

I am a frustrated diner of the North Shore. I am sick of Chipotle (which I never liked to begin with). I am sick of Noodles & Company (which I never thought I'd say). But most of all, I am sick of hibachi grills, these foul excuses for restaurants. Hibachi grills: where they overcook your food in a puddle of oil right in front of your face so that you can not only suffer through eating it that night but smell like it for the next 72 hours. So in an effort to stop the madness and direct the general public toward restaurants that actually serve food you'd like to eat, here are four of my favorite joints in the 847.

Prices range from $ (10 dollars a person) to $$$ (30 dollars a person and up)

1. Hot Tamales -- (847) 433-4070 493 Central Ave. Highland Park, IL 60035 ($$)

A one-room establishment with brightly painted walls and weird Mexican art, HOt Tamales is without question the best Mexican food I've encountered outside of Old Town Chicago. The menu is extensive with everyting from appetizers to a huge selection of handmade tamales, enchiladas and slabs of meat, all prepared excellently. The free chips and salsa are so addictive you might forget to save room for dinner. Among other excellent dishes, the standouts are:

• Pumpkin tamales, an interestingly savory dish served with two types of salsa (red and green). The tamales are equal parts sweet and spicy and one is certainly filling.

• Grilled torta, handmade tortilla sandwiches made with goat cheese, red peppers, portabella mushrooms and spinach, the torta is without question my favorite of the platos pequenos. Served with thick-cut sweet potato chips and a creamy poblano sauce.

• Pollo Espinaco, a giant butterflied chicken breast with a spicy rub, grilled and then smothered in that creamy poblano sauce. Comes with sauteed spinach and black beans. Enough for dinner for two.

2. Player's Grill -- (847) 831-5929 1855 Deerfield Rd. Highland Park, IL 60035 ($$$)

Tucked into a dying strip mall is Player's Grill. A no-frills place that's not exactly vegetarian-friendly, Player's has some of the best two-hand sandwiches I've had the pleasure of eating. I wouldn't recommend most of the salads; the lettuce tends to be iceberg and the toppings are poorly thought out in my opinion. But the sandwiches and burgers at this place are hideously, artery-clogging good. Expect to wait a good 45 minutes or more for delivery on the weekends but trust in the fact that you will be thrilled by your order. Note: portions are huge. Look for:

• The ranch dressing and BBQ sauce. I could eat both plain. I do eat both plain, with a spoon. Slather it on burgers, mozzarella sticks, French fries, salads. The ranch is the perfect thickness and doesn’t taste overwhelmingly like mayonnaise. The BBQ sauce is perfectly smoky and savory and it’s a little thin compared to Sweet Baby Ray’s but that only means it comes out of the tub faster, thank god. I always ask for an extra serving or three of each every time I visit. Mix them together for a southwestern-style salad dressing.

• The Max Sandwich—an enormous pile of marinated steak tips sandwiched between two slices of crusty garlic French bread. Watching my friend James attack it made me sorely regret my weak digestive system and vegetarian diet. This is a two-hand sandwich not for the faint of heart but absolutely for the man who loves his red meat. Put that ranch dressing on it and go crazy

3. Fuji Thai -- (847) 459-0888 1000 Weiland Rd. Buffalo Grove, IL 60089 ($$)

In an unremarkable shopping center is Fuji Thai, a tiny restaurant with a whole lot to offer. Sushi, curries and stir fries are all on the menu and the prices are remarkably cheap considering the quality. The portions are all good-sized but not gluttonous and if you ask for something extra on the side they give you a lot of it. Service is good but expect to wait on the weekend. Standouts:

• Thai Yellow Curry with Chicken—a fantastically soothing and not-too-spicy curry with potatoes, green peppers, chicken and onions. The coconut milk is obvious in the broth but not overpowering.

• Rock ‘n’ Roll—my favorite special roll at Fuji Thai. It has avocado, asparagus and shrimp tempura wrapped in soybean paper. I always get it with spicy tuna on the side.

• Pad Thai—not greasy and full of flavor, the pad Thai is standout. Loaded with fresh and crunchy beansprouts, peanuts and egg the pad Thai is equally good in the restaurant and as a leftover.

4. Little Ricky's Rib Joint -- (847) 784-1444 540 Lincoln Ave. Winnetka, IL 60093 ($)

Deep in the heart of bustling Winnetka sits the only rib joint I will consider eating at in the North Shore. After Woodfire Chicken and Ribs closed down due to the construction on Lake Cook, a small part of me died. Enter Little Ricky's. You can sit in the restaurant and feast but they also deliver to the Wilmette, Kenilworth and Winnetka areas (although that can take an absurdly long amount of time due to the caliber of delivery boy). Standouts include:

• The ribs, obviously. The offering is sticky-sweet ribs that are neither overcooked nor so globbed with fat that no meat remains and the sauce is good enough to make you want to smack your momma.

• Sweeeeeeet mashed potatoes. I don't know what they put in these (crack?) but the sweetness in these mashers is the perfect counterpart to a half slab.

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