Is Your Muffin Buttered?
Not only do we not want to have sex with Jason (how dare he scam on some poor innocent girl three days after he took Gretchen to a party at Regina's!) but we also do not want any physical, edible muffins buttered. It's too damn hot for that much grease.
Also if you're in the Chicagoland area and of a certain age, chances are you are fully intent on giving yourself liver damage at Lollapalooza this weekend. Alcohol is many things but diet-friendly it is not. Go ahead and enjoy that whiskey sour but remember -- it's practically 200 calories worth of sugar.
When you wake up in the morning and remember that you are personally responsible for killing most of a bottle of flavored liquor, the first thing you'll want to do is puke. I recommend you do that. Then you'll want to go to McDonald's or some other greasy spoon and soak up all the festering liquid left in your intestines. You can go ahead and do that (because let's be real here -- the Egg McMuffin is pretty goddamn delicious) and work out for 3 hours straight every day for a month starting Monday OR...you could whip up a batch (or beg someone else to whip up a batch) of these practically fat-free banana muffins.
They're low in sugar, high in fiber, have some actual nutrients in them and will counteraffect the Peach Smirnoff currently curdling in your stomach without making you expand and bloat with needless grease and sodium. I recommend pairing them with a pan-fried egg (using a little olive oil) and some lean turkey sausage before hitting Lolla day two. That way you get the grease to coat the inside of your stomach, some protein to help you execute those A+ dance moves and fiber to keep you full so you don't fall temptation to Popeyes or something else equally revolting but exceptionally enticing when drunk.
Feel free to top with brown sugar and pecans or walnuts if you've got them, and trust me: these will become a breakfast staple. When I was at school I liked to bake a few dozen at a time and freeze them so that I could defrost them for on-the-go #noms.
Note: you can leave the molasses out if you don't have it or sub a tablespoon of honey but it adds a really nice, dark sweetness that I wouldn't recommend changing.
Ingredients:
Makes 1 dozen
1 c. all purpose flour
3/4 c. whole wheat flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 cup very ripe banana, mashed
1/2 c. unsweetened all natural applesauce
1 tbs. dark molasses
For the topping (optional)
3 tbs. split white and dark brown sugar
1/8 tsp. cinnamon or pie spice
1 tbs. cold, unsalted butter
3 tbs. pecans or walnuts, finely chopped
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350. Grease a muffin tray with non-stick cooking spray or lay out paper cups.
2. In a large bowl, sift together the flours and stir in the other dry ingredients until completely incorporated. Create a well in the center of the bowl.
3. In a smaller bowl, lightly beat the eggs. Add the rest of the wet ingredients and mix until combined. Pour into the well of the dry ingredient mixture and stir, making sure no flour remains.
4. Pour into the prepared muffin cups and bake for about 15-20 minutes, rotating halfway through, or until a tester inserted into the center of the muffin comes out clean.
for THE TOPPING:
1. In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar and butter with your fingertips until it has a crumbly texture. Stir in chopped nuts. Sprinkle over tops of muffins after about 10 minutes in the oven.
